Two years and counting! And what a wonderful time it has been. It feels as though I am in a “perfect middle”, a sort of wonderland between what has been and what will be. It’s difficult to remember all the feelings – excitement, exhaustion, sadness, anticipation, curiosity, (and that’s only the beginning of the list) – of that long ago plane ride. It’s easy to remember the first few days – the people who helped things move forward, the sense of belonging, and most of all, the rightness of moving into a new chapter. It would have been impossible to imagine all the wonders of these past two years.
Some of my musings are about places which have become my favorites: Brevnov Monastery, the Dvorak Museum, Uherske Hradiste (the lovely Moravian town with its annual festival and dear friends), several cozy restaurants, the Zoo, the peace of centuries old sanctuaries, the tram rides past decades and centuries of buildings both graceful and graceless. More often I think of friends, colleagues, and students, the “new” people whose lives have become so important in mine and the seamless way they blend in with those who continue to remain ever present in my thoughts if not my current geography.
It’s the to-do-to-go list which seems to claim a lot of my attention, however. Perhaps it’s the snow and cold, perhaps it’s just a general January routine, or most probably it’s the realization that this isn’t a suspension of some sort – time really is moving along. I’m keeping a real list now, not a mental one, of sunny-day expeditions and rainy-day retreats, places to visit when I have one day free vs. places to go when I have an extra day off. What is difficult is that they all seem to be equally important, none seems optional. Oh my, just have to get at it!
So here I am at the two-year mark, living in the past, the present, and the future all at the same time, and loving every minute of it, whether it's new and exciting or ordinary and frustrating. They are all mine, and there's nowhere else I'd rather be or nothing else I'd rather be doing.
The best thing now, however, is my return to health. It is both amazing and wonderful to see little bits of improvement each day. I see my “super specialist” again Friday for new x-rays. Probably the best description of my feeling now is “cautious optimism”. I know I’m getting better; I just don’t know what my lungs look like.
I begin teaching part time Monday. Am I ready? Probably not as ready as I think I am. And I know I will have to watch the energy level carefully. I’ve been warned about overdoing, and I’m paying attention. A trip to StJ yesterday taught me how quickly I can tire. Again I am so blessed. And so very grateful.
And yes, I want to keep counting these anniversaries, creating new memories, enjoying new friends, and sharing it all with you. It is a new experience to consider it all from this healing cocoon. Now I must get on with doing it! A new year with all its possibilities, just waiting to be lived. . . .
Have a wonderful February – spring is coming!
Showing posts with label A New Year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A New Year. Show all posts
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Ordinary Isn't Boring
"X" marks the spot. We are "here" -- the end of the first full week of the New Year. It's been a refreshing return to at least some sense of normalcy. January means winter to me, and winter is exactly what we have!
It would be nice if it were even a couple degrees warmer! We haven't reached 0 (Celsius) -- and I'm talking about moving "up to"! -- yet this week, and I believe it isn't forecast for next week. Sunday/Monday brought snow. Monday was beautiful. It snowed the whole day -- sometimes enormous lazy flakes, sometimes furious little ones, but generally slow and steady. No whiteouts! By mid-day Tuesday, there was a lot of brown slippery stuff around. Because we are well below freezing, it isn't even slushy. Some (only a few) of the walks are cleared very well, but in most cases it's a sometimes thing. So in addition to bundling up, I'm walking very, very carefully and a bit more slowly than usual. It's been mentioned many times that this is more like a Prague winter -- last year was too warm. One of the nice things about "having a history" is that I can remember last Spring. And I know it will come again. I'm already compiling my new list of things I'll do when it is not quite so cold and not quite so difficult to get from here to there!
Teaching for StJ just keeps getting better. Nearly a year later, and it is still the right place for me. How blessed I was in all the events leading to this placement. And it is so nice to be told how much my work is appreciated by both my boss and my students. Sure, now and again I have a class I'd rather give to someone else. It is wonderful, however, to be in a situation where it was so nice to move past the holiday break and be able to see people I really enjoy.
Speaking of "nearly a year," Monday is my next trip to the Foreign Police. Last week was the time for all the appointments required to get it in order -- insurance papers, landlord papers, stamps from the Post Office (have no idea what that's for), photographs (and I do look a lot older than last year :-(, on and on. Of course, I am obsessing about having all my papers in order and knowing which tram/bus connection to make. It has not been many months since my last trip. Getting the visa is necessary for anything beyond the 90-day visitors' stay. From now on the visa extension will be an annual thing. It is supposed to be easier getting the extension. The hard part is decision making: Q: How early must I get there to be able to get a number for the line (think "deli") then be called and finish in one day? A: 5 a.m., and the doors don't open until 7:30. Q: Must I take an interpreter (Czech is the only language spoken at the FP)? A: No. Katerina, our wonderful office manager, will come to help me if there is any problem. That lengthens the FP visit, but whatever . . . . anything to get done. Q: Since I will be alone this year (I went with a colleague who arrived when I did last year) what do I take to "do" while waiting? A: Hmmm. A book to read, some Czech vocabulary to learn, and maybe even some knitting, I guess. A good friend spent 12 hours on her recent trip. I know myself, however, and since the big room is really chaotic, I know I won't get "real" work done -- too many interruptions, too much moving from one place to another, etc. Then of course there is the fact that I usually teach eight hours on Monday. Arrangements have already been made for the morning classes; I know I won't make them. Then yet another terrific StJ person, Jaromir, will stay in contact with me -- Czech Republic, the land of cell phones and (free) text messaging! -- and cancel afternoon classes if and when necessary. What a production. Fortunately it is only once a year!
And speaking of "schools" and "classes," I have now joined another school part time. Alka Language Specialists has been in business nearly 20 years. Congratulations to them! They're smaller than StJ and do exactly the same kind of business -- work with companies/institutions/organizations on a contract basis, sending teachers to the site for classes. Neither school offers "public" classes. I have three classes with them already -- great students in each class and at a super location for me -- and they are asking for more of my time. One of the difficult things about this kind of work is that most companies want their English classes either first thing in the morning or last thing in the afternoon. It's called "peak time." I've been SO fortunate that StJ has filled most of my daytime hours as well. Yes, I get tired; and yes, I have to prepare and do other class work at night. But it means I get more opportunities to do what I love doing. Now with the two schools it will begin to be a bit of a rub. Of course StJ has precedence -- I "owe" them my peak time, but it is difficult to sit back quietly (that's always been hard for me, as you know) when things are in such a state of change and wait for #1 to make up its mind before accepting something from #2. Oh well - - this will sort out, and very quickly, I think. I'm just so pleased to be working with the people I've met there already.
It was interesting that the assigned material for one of my classes on the first day after the New Year was about wishes and life changes. Of course we also talked about resolutions (usually kept from 3-10 days). So certainly it is in my mind as well as on the lesson plan. One of the differences between the two, we noted, is that we have no control over wishes. So yes, I have a wish, and yes, I know I don't control the outcome. I wish I could continue doing this for many years. I'm aware of all the things which could change the outcome -- health, accidents, things in the States that I would want to be available for, many other things I can't or won't imagine now. How happy and how fortunate I am to be in this spot at this time, especially since technology means I am not cut off from family and friends as I would have been even a few years ago. And I feel as though I'm just now really settling down into the routine, becoming able to do things more efficiently and effectively, and certainly to enjoy each moment more than ever before.
And yes, I have a couple resolutions that I realize are dependent on me and my efforts. The first is to get serious about learning Czech! My teacher's great; the change from one four-hour class a month to two two-hour classes is really helpful; and I'm enjoying a small bit of reward for my small bit of effort. I must raise the bar on it, however. Demand more from myself and expect better results -- no more of these "my brain is tired and old" thoughts! I hate feeling stupid, and I do feel really stupid when I have no clue what a notice about tram service means or when someone is asking a question or being especially friendly and I have to reply, "Anglicky" along with some other word which means "I don't understand" or "I'm sorry." What is so terribly daunting is that it will take forever to be "good", but that doesn't mean I can't get a bit better. And I do resolve to make more regular efforts to reach that. (And it is so much more difficult than it used to be.)
Another resolution is to be even more organized about my "To Do in Prague" list. There are advertisements for concerts I'd like to attend or places with regular performances I would enjoy. As I continue reading Czech history (and I resolve to continue that -- it's really fascinating as well as difficult to retain, since I'm so unfamiliar with so many Central European rulers, wannabes, and political intrigue) I continue to learn about more places I want to visit. And Prague is full of lovely green places, marvelous parks with their own fountains and sculpture, delicious little cafes with lots of history floating about. My resolve: write these things down and start ticking them off the list!
My most important resolution: never lose sight of how blessed I am and have been -- my health-- keeping this schedule at this time of my life; my family; my friends -- those with whom I've shared years and many experiences, those who are part of this amazing new place, and those I have yet to meet; the places I've been; all the memories I have collected and cherish. Yes, sometimes I despair over the situation in the States, the malevolence and violence toward individuals and countries around the world, the rigid focus on that which divides rather than finding and placing value on that which unites. And I am always reminded that my attitude can be contagious, I can help bring about even a small change in someone else's world. Yes, I'd wish for peace, for respect for the dignity of human life, for intelligence, wisdom, and a lessening of pandering to vested interests. But those are wishes. I can resolve to be responsible for my thoughts and actions. And I do.
šťastný nový rok -- Happy New year to you.
It would be nice if it were even a couple degrees warmer! We haven't reached 0 (Celsius) -- and I'm talking about moving "up to"! -- yet this week, and I believe it isn't forecast for next week. Sunday/Monday brought snow. Monday was beautiful. It snowed the whole day -- sometimes enormous lazy flakes, sometimes furious little ones, but generally slow and steady. No whiteouts! By mid-day Tuesday, there was a lot of brown slippery stuff around. Because we are well below freezing, it isn't even slushy. Some (only a few) of the walks are cleared very well, but in most cases it's a sometimes thing. So in addition to bundling up, I'm walking very, very carefully and a bit more slowly than usual. It's been mentioned many times that this is more like a Prague winter -- last year was too warm. One of the nice things about "having a history" is that I can remember last Spring. And I know it will come again. I'm already compiling my new list of things I'll do when it is not quite so cold and not quite so difficult to get from here to there!
Teaching for StJ just keeps getting better. Nearly a year later, and it is still the right place for me. How blessed I was in all the events leading to this placement. And it is so nice to be told how much my work is appreciated by both my boss and my students. Sure, now and again I have a class I'd rather give to someone else. It is wonderful, however, to be in a situation where it was so nice to move past the holiday break and be able to see people I really enjoy.
Speaking of "nearly a year," Monday is my next trip to the Foreign Police. Last week was the time for all the appointments required to get it in order -- insurance papers, landlord papers, stamps from the Post Office (have no idea what that's for), photographs (and I do look a lot older than last year :-(, on and on. Of course, I am obsessing about having all my papers in order and knowing which tram/bus connection to make. It has not been many months since my last trip. Getting the visa is necessary for anything beyond the 90-day visitors' stay. From now on the visa extension will be an annual thing. It is supposed to be easier getting the extension. The hard part is decision making: Q: How early must I get there to be able to get a number for the line (think "deli") then be called and finish in one day? A: 5 a.m., and the doors don't open until 7:30. Q: Must I take an interpreter (Czech is the only language spoken at the FP)? A: No. Katerina, our wonderful office manager, will come to help me if there is any problem. That lengthens the FP visit, but whatever . . . . anything to get done. Q: Since I will be alone this year (I went with a colleague who arrived when I did last year) what do I take to "do" while waiting? A: Hmmm. A book to read, some Czech vocabulary to learn, and maybe even some knitting, I guess. A good friend spent 12 hours on her recent trip. I know myself, however, and since the big room is really chaotic, I know I won't get "real" work done -- too many interruptions, too much moving from one place to another, etc. Then of course there is the fact that I usually teach eight hours on Monday. Arrangements have already been made for the morning classes; I know I won't make them. Then yet another terrific StJ person, Jaromir, will stay in contact with me -- Czech Republic, the land of cell phones and (free) text messaging! -- and cancel afternoon classes if and when necessary. What a production. Fortunately it is only once a year!
And speaking of "schools" and "classes," I have now joined another school part time. Alka Language Specialists has been in business nearly 20 years. Congratulations to them! They're smaller than StJ and do exactly the same kind of business -- work with companies/institutions/organizations on a contract basis, sending teachers to the site for classes. Neither school offers "public" classes. I have three classes with them already -- great students in each class and at a super location for me -- and they are asking for more of my time. One of the difficult things about this kind of work is that most companies want their English classes either first thing in the morning or last thing in the afternoon. It's called "peak time." I've been SO fortunate that StJ has filled most of my daytime hours as well. Yes, I get tired; and yes, I have to prepare and do other class work at night. But it means I get more opportunities to do what I love doing. Now with the two schools it will begin to be a bit of a rub. Of course StJ has precedence -- I "owe" them my peak time, but it is difficult to sit back quietly (that's always been hard for me, as you know) when things are in such a state of change and wait for #1 to make up its mind before accepting something from #2. Oh well - - this will sort out, and very quickly, I think. I'm just so pleased to be working with the people I've met there already.
It was interesting that the assigned material for one of my classes on the first day after the New Year was about wishes and life changes. Of course we also talked about resolutions (usually kept from 3-10 days). So certainly it is in my mind as well as on the lesson plan. One of the differences between the two, we noted, is that we have no control over wishes. So yes, I have a wish, and yes, I know I don't control the outcome. I wish I could continue doing this for many years. I'm aware of all the things which could change the outcome -- health, accidents, things in the States that I would want to be available for, many other things I can't or won't imagine now. How happy and how fortunate I am to be in this spot at this time, especially since technology means I am not cut off from family and friends as I would have been even a few years ago. And I feel as though I'm just now really settling down into the routine, becoming able to do things more efficiently and effectively, and certainly to enjoy each moment more than ever before.
And yes, I have a couple resolutions that I realize are dependent on me and my efforts. The first is to get serious about learning Czech! My teacher's great; the change from one four-hour class a month to two two-hour classes is really helpful; and I'm enjoying a small bit of reward for my small bit of effort. I must raise the bar on it, however. Demand more from myself and expect better results -- no more of these "my brain is tired and old" thoughts! I hate feeling stupid, and I do feel really stupid when I have no clue what a notice about tram service means or when someone is asking a question or being especially friendly and I have to reply, "Anglicky" along with some other word which means "I don't understand" or "I'm sorry." What is so terribly daunting is that it will take forever to be "good", but that doesn't mean I can't get a bit better. And I do resolve to make more regular efforts to reach that. (And it is so much more difficult than it used to be.)
Another resolution is to be even more organized about my "To Do in Prague" list. There are advertisements for concerts I'd like to attend or places with regular performances I would enjoy. As I continue reading Czech history (and I resolve to continue that -- it's really fascinating as well as difficult to retain, since I'm so unfamiliar with so many Central European rulers, wannabes, and political intrigue) I continue to learn about more places I want to visit. And Prague is full of lovely green places, marvelous parks with their own fountains and sculpture, delicious little cafes with lots of history floating about. My resolve: write these things down and start ticking them off the list!
My most important resolution: never lose sight of how blessed I am and have been -- my health-- keeping this schedule at this time of my life; my family; my friends -- those with whom I've shared years and many experiences, those who are part of this amazing new place, and those I have yet to meet; the places I've been; all the memories I have collected and cherish. Yes, sometimes I despair over the situation in the States, the malevolence and violence toward individuals and countries around the world, the rigid focus on that which divides rather than finding and placing value on that which unites. And I am always reminded that my attitude can be contagious, I can help bring about even a small change in someone else's world. Yes, I'd wish for peace, for respect for the dignity of human life, for intelligence, wisdom, and a lessening of pandering to vested interests. But those are wishes. I can resolve to be responsible for my thoughts and actions. And I do.
šťastný nový rok -- Happy New year to you.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
'Tis the Season
. . . for some small part of nearly everything.
The season for reflection -- pondering the year just past could consume another year! What an amazing year (actually, fantastic lifetime) this has been. Recent conversations have brought so many memories to the surface, have shaped so many unexpected hopes and wishes, and, as usual, have highlighted so many shortcomings. Seemingly random encounters open virtual storehouses of thoughts, each of which could lead to its own dissertation or, conversely, could hit an immediate stone wall. Most of those will join a growing "To Do" list of both concrete and abstract self assignments. And of course, there will be the perpetual sense of hopefulness -- this year I'll really get organized, this year I'll really do things differently, this year I'll really make a dent in those good intentions!
The season for gratitude -- creating a list of the gifts of life, every size from petite to XXXXXL and beyond, is an endless task in and of itself. Most conversations, thoughts, and encounters seem to either focus on or somehow touch a deep well of gratitude for all the marvelous gifts I've been given: my family, my friends, countless opportunities, new horizons, all the seemingly accidental encounters and even dumb luck which have moved me through a virtual dictionary of emotions. And for each of them I am a deeply grateful.
The season for renewal -- renovating and refurbishing the various compartments of my brain is a never ending task. This season brings new emphasis and concern to the work. For some unexplored reason the holiday season always tucks this two-sided coin in my mental stocking: Joy and delight at all the wonders and a bit of wistfulness about the "roads not taken." And for every item on my mental punch list as I take occupancy of this House of 2009 (how can that be?) there will be a stronger sense of reality and urgency to get on with the job, whether interior decoration or external landscaping!
The season for regrets -- examining and bringing reality to the mistakes, lost opportunities, poor decisions, and general oooops, whether of 2008 or the accumulations of a lifetime. To paraphrase one of the British poets, distance does not lend enchantment to this view! I'm grateful for the lesson learned from an acquaintance some years past, a psychotherapist whose work with "women of a certain age" was beginning to hit the best sellers list of the time. She said that the difference between guilt and regret is that regret indicates you've learned something and now know how to act/interact differently. Guilt means you intended to hurt/harm another or yourself and may continue to do so. And though I wish to keep the regrets to a minimum in this season, I would fervently wish to eliminate the times when "I'm sorry" is caused by guilt.
The season for resolutions (and a few promises!) -- determining the most relevant changes and being constant and steadfast in bringing them about is such a global resolution. Yet I do know that I can change only myself, even as I wish I could bring positive change into and for the lives of others. Creating those ripples of new horizons for the lives I touch is a big resolution for this coming year. I will continue to make all the little promises which can help that happen.
It's a major season for me, my brain, and my heart. As we began this journey nearly a year ago now -- who'd have thought it would look and be like this? -- I had no idea where we'd go, what we'd see, who we'd meet. It's been an absolutely incredible adventure -- a magical triumvirate of people, places, and events. I must say, I can hardly wait to see what 2009 will bring, what the season's musings will bring about. I do hope you'll join me in the discoveries!
The season for reflection -- pondering the year just past could consume another year! What an amazing year (actually, fantastic lifetime) this has been. Recent conversations have brought so many memories to the surface, have shaped so many unexpected hopes and wishes, and, as usual, have highlighted so many shortcomings. Seemingly random encounters open virtual storehouses of thoughts, each of which could lead to its own dissertation or, conversely, could hit an immediate stone wall. Most of those will join a growing "To Do" list of both concrete and abstract self assignments. And of course, there will be the perpetual sense of hopefulness -- this year I'll really get organized, this year I'll really do things differently, this year I'll really make a dent in those good intentions!
The season for gratitude -- creating a list of the gifts of life, every size from petite to XXXXXL and beyond, is an endless task in and of itself. Most conversations, thoughts, and encounters seem to either focus on or somehow touch a deep well of gratitude for all the marvelous gifts I've been given: my family, my friends, countless opportunities, new horizons, all the seemingly accidental encounters and even dumb luck which have moved me through a virtual dictionary of emotions. And for each of them I am a deeply grateful.
The season for renewal -- renovating and refurbishing the various compartments of my brain is a never ending task. This season brings new emphasis and concern to the work. For some unexplored reason the holiday season always tucks this two-sided coin in my mental stocking: Joy and delight at all the wonders and a bit of wistfulness about the "roads not taken." And for every item on my mental punch list as I take occupancy of this House of 2009 (how can that be?) there will be a stronger sense of reality and urgency to get on with the job, whether interior decoration or external landscaping!
The season for regrets -- examining and bringing reality to the mistakes, lost opportunities, poor decisions, and general oooops, whether of 2008 or the accumulations of a lifetime. To paraphrase one of the British poets, distance does not lend enchantment to this view! I'm grateful for the lesson learned from an acquaintance some years past, a psychotherapist whose work with "women of a certain age" was beginning to hit the best sellers list of the time. She said that the difference between guilt and regret is that regret indicates you've learned something and now know how to act/interact differently. Guilt means you intended to hurt/harm another or yourself and may continue to do so. And though I wish to keep the regrets to a minimum in this season, I would fervently wish to eliminate the times when "I'm sorry" is caused by guilt.
The season for resolutions (and a few promises!) -- determining the most relevant changes and being constant and steadfast in bringing them about is such a global resolution. Yet I do know that I can change only myself, even as I wish I could bring positive change into and for the lives of others. Creating those ripples of new horizons for the lives I touch is a big resolution for this coming year. I will continue to make all the little promises which can help that happen.
It's a major season for me, my brain, and my heart. As we began this journey nearly a year ago now -- who'd have thought it would look and be like this? -- I had no idea where we'd go, what we'd see, who we'd meet. It's been an absolutely incredible adventure -- a magical triumvirate of people, places, and events. I must say, I can hardly wait to see what 2009 will bring, what the season's musings will bring about. I do hope you'll join me in the discoveries!
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