How Do You Measure "Far Away"?

Do you use a ruler? A calendar? A history book? An impression? Is the answer "it depends"? Or is it really a matter of the heart?

I wish I had the "right" answer this morning. At the moment it could be any and all of the above.

I know, because a Google search and Geobytes just told me, that I am 4506 miles and 7251 kilometers away from the city I left three months ago (my how time flies. . . ). It offered to tell me quite a few things about Durham. My silent answer was "no thanks -- already know that." It must have assumed I knew about Prague, since it entered that as my "home" automatically and offered no further introduction to the city. Being curious, I continued to search. This distance thing was turning into fun. Not a big surprise that there's at least one more answer. MapCrow says it is fewer miles and/or kilometers. And both were "as the crow flies." Different crow? That answer came from satellites and GPS and all kinds of technological marvels. And it certainly isn't the one I'm looking for today.

My grandmother was and continues to be a significant defining influence in my life. How I wish I could tell her thank you at this point in my life. What an incredible lady! Homesteaded with her parents in the 1889 Run which opened Indian Territory for settlement, married my grandfather (who made the same Run with his brother) at 15, made the Run which opened the Cherokee strip as a new bride, gave birth to eight children -- the oldest dying in WW I, the youngest flying in WW II, kept the farm running while Grandpa was away working as a carpenter, helping others get settled. I was married on their 65th anniversary -- they cut the second piece of cake at the reception! I can still hear her saying, multiple times, "Oh Anne, the wonders you will see. Things I can't even imagine." Her love of life and her openness to change shaped me. And she doesn't seem very far away. Her influence is so strong, her acceptance of me, warts, mistakes, and all, such a life gift.

I continue to be amazed at the way technology erases the miles (and perhaps increases the agita). So often I comment to myself and others about the difference between Grandma going to the unknown territory and my coming to Prague. I know she had almost no means of contact, and certainly not the regular and easy connections I am afforded. I'm sure she thought her goodbyes to friends and family were final. Mine could be, but I don't know that. And we all seem to live our lives based on the presumption that we will see each other and share stories again.

My last day at Pilgrim UCC did include final goodbyes to two dear friends. Would the parting have been any different if I had known that? Bryant Dunshee and Midge Niblock will remain in my heart always for their grace and their smiles. And I feel very far away at the moment. I cannot share my sadness with anyone else who knew them.

Maybe, if you measure with your heart, "near" is when things are going along fine, memories of good times are strong, email and Skype are working well, and life isn't scattering major question marks along your path. "Far" is when the questions marks are growing, there is too much between the lines in the emails, beloved voices don't sound quite the same, and you are feel so completely powerless. It is very little help or comfort to realize you couldn't change things if you were closer. But it is so difficult not to offer a hug or a listening silence. That's "far"!

And measuring with a calendar and history book? Yesterday was a public holiday here -- Labour Day. I'm old enough to remember when May Day -- May 1 -- brought news pictures of an enormous show of military strength in a Red Square parade. It had nothing to do with the historical rites of spring, welcoming the new season, a traditional May Day celebration. Now everyone knows it is nearly impossible to take a holiday away from people, so you just rename it! And the history book certainly can tell us about these changes. They are very near to those who lived them and to those whose lives are now represented by plaques and memorials. The history is very far away to the late teen/early twenties generation who are the future.

I am, once again, very grateful to be at this place in the world at this point in my life. What wonders! You are so right, Grandma. I just wish I knew more about the distances I've traveled to this point and the ones yet to come.